1 Corinthians 13:1
Regaining an identity that I never lost, is a bit cryptic to me. It was just misplaced, while trying to protect it from getting stolen, on this journey of life. Hauling in my backpack, the baggage of narcissists, and souls crippled with the spirit of that harlot…jezebel. I would feel sorry for these souls, except I’ve attached a weight to that backpack, and threw it at the bottom of a rushing violent river. If no one survived…that’s not my problem. I have. My son has. And that is what matters.
But being the kind of person that I am, I’ve turned around just to make sure the rugged old backpack atleast got caught on a hanging branch…..but satisfied when I did not see it. At all costs we have to save ourselves. I emphasize love, but if we can’t see ourselves in the same light that God sees us….we become recipients to this abusive world, carrying along the dead weight of others.
I’ve seen family in a different light these days. Family pressure and elderly needs have changed the living dynamics of every immediate family member…to an extent. If things have not changed physically, then it has changed in our daily conversations. Some have grown closer and some, like myself, have checked out in a way, lest I drown in the decay of family secrets and bickerings….might I remind you all, when the elderly in the family fall ill and/or needs extra help…fatigue pays an unwanted visit, along with pestering, along with exhaust, along with impossible expectations, abuse of time, which holds hands with anger, resentment, and TRUTHS , come out like ants 🐜🐜to a sugar cube. I’m there when I can be, and protector of my little family (which consists of my 8yr old and I)…most of the time. Even when it comes to family….(come correct or don‘t come at all). By now, everyone gets my point. Coming from a background where Native American culture and pride is prominent….family will kill themselves caring for the elderly before they reach out for outside help….when “burn out” is an understatement. My Mommas profession has worn her to the core, now she is caregiver to her Father, which has rubbed me the wrong way, because she is the only Mom I have….yet not the only child of her Father. I pray to not lose control of my tongue and spill the beans on old Pops about a life we all know about…but he does not think so. His elderly commands have become a lot more tight and selfish, and have fallen on deaf ears with me, as they are a burden to face rather than a Blessing. As my Heavenly Father has taught me….keep a bridle on your mouth. (Psalm 39:1) . Even so, I love this family of mine. From the innocense to the vile…every last member is important, and have shaped my outlook in many ways. I’ve learned to appreciate my “no-nonsense” approach to life. If I am not spiritually well, mentally fit, physically healthy, then my child will suffer. There is not enough love for culture….for me to compromise….<him>. No ones burdens will be carried on my shoulders….for I don’t even carry my own. And generational monstrosities have nothing to do with me. So what *Y’all could Not fix, will not be a job that me and mine handle. I put a foot , made with iron, down. When everyone finally understands, that we will not bathe in the same dirty water, we retain our respect for one another, and eat waffles together….LIKE FAMILIES SHOULD! 😡❤👊❤
(Niece 2…….The Graduate)
Ny, a super layed back girl who made the deans list every month…with a 4.2 GPA. She is one of the sweetest young women that I’ve been Blessed to be an Aunty to. She is headed to college to live her dreams and overcome the real world. Lot’s of prayer.
Ana’Mau (Grandmother in Yuman language), with her first Grandbaby, at her graduation party. ❤❤❤❤❤ Family Time!!!!!!
1.) Love deeply but retreat to revive, when necessary…but not for to long. We live on borrowed time.
2.) Souls matter
3.) Give your all…but expect nothing. Jesus gave His life for all, knowing that some of the very ones he died for, would not choose Him. He still pressed forward….true love.
4.) Peculiarity is GREAT!
5.) Be slow to anger and being offended….HOWEVER, take good care of yourself and no when to politely close doors.
6.) “They” will always try to get a hold of you when you are on a path of Blessing. Pray for “them”, but don’t look back. Let Lot’s wife be your example.
7.) Love….is meaningless without action.
8.) Romance has nothing to do with real love.
9.) Being alone does not mean one is lonely. Having the capability to personally grow without the need of an entourage…and enjoy that alone time, is an extreme Blessing.
10.) Esteem others more than yourself. (Philippians 2:3)
11.) Falling in love with Jesus has been my priority…..doing in life, what brings Him honor.