The love of Church members waxing cold; leaders falling asleep…

“If you leave the church because of people…then your eyes aren’t focused on God.”

Or something around those lines. I have heard this phrase more times than I should have. I studied that comment until it made my blood boil. I am just going to jump right into it, and say….”CHURCH, take responsibility and accountability  for your behaviour.” 

As I have told many before…church is supposed to be a place of refuge. A safe haven for the lost and the found. A place of rest and salvation. Most importantly where we Praise, Worship and give honor to the Lord Jesus Christ.

In the last days……(Matthew 24) v.12 “And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. 

Judgement will start in the House of the Lord, FIRST (1 Peter 4:17). Whenever leaders and members make that comment about ones focus being too much on people, instead of God…it causes me to fight for myself and for those whom have been labled as people whom are not focused on the Lord. Because the thing about it is….when your eyes are set and focused on God, He himself REVEALS a lot to you. You have no choice but truly see the people, the good and the bad. When our relationship with Jesus Christ flourishes, we become more discerning and aware. Some people don’t leave their churches because they backslid and have chosen to live in sin, some people leave because of the mess they see….that is not being corrected, from the pulpit to the congregation. There is a difference here. Churches will NEVER be perfect because it is full of humans, but when problems arise they have to be resolved immediately or an open door is left for our adversary, satan, to come in and destroy. 

The reasons why problems in the church do not always get fixed and occur in the first place, is because of a haughty spirit and pride. Both in which, will send even some of the very elect, to hell. Some members aren’t wanting to say sorry, because of the lack of humility, humbleness and love, and because of this, many members are failing to repent. 

A lot of church hurt occurs when churches avoid confrontation. The issue with the avoidance of sin in the church, is that a lot of casualties are created. Some leaders are not BIBLICALLY addressing members when an issue arises. You see some of them more on social media using Jesus in their public sarcasm towards other members and non-believers. 

(Mark 9:42) ” And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”

The love of many shall wax cold….

Love is fading from some of the hearts of God’s own people, because there is a falling away from the faith of many Christians, happening, as prophesied in scripture.  


Some members are still showing up to services….and faithfully might I add, but their personal relationships with the Lord are nearly non-existent. Without the love of God being restored in the hearts of the members, there is going to be a lot of hurt, people leaving, and alot of blood on alot of hands. 

What I DO agree with in between the lines of the opening phrase, is keep your eyes open, but don’t allow the sins and shortcomings of human beings keep you out of church and fellowship with likeminded Christians. Don’t let anyone keep you from growing in Christ Jesus. Not everyone in the church behaves or lives crookedly. There are MANY faithful Christians. You must be discerning. As a Christian myself, I love people but I love Jesus more. My salvation is very personal. I don’t want to suffer on earth, just to end up in hell and suffer eternally. By all means, if you must leave a church because of issues, sins, apostasy, etc. that the church as a whole is not repentive of, then prayerfully do so, and trust in the Lord to find a new church for you. BUT DO NOT GIVE UP ON JESUS NOR CHURCH!!! This is YOUR SALVATION on the line. And He loved you so much He gave up His life.❀

Keep your thoughts on the Lord, but Pastors, Ministers, Evangelists, etc. Keep a watchful eye on the members of your congregations. Be accountable for what goes on in your house, because offenses cut deeply and wounds are hard to heal if they ever do. Some go septic and people perish. You don’t always know who is hanging on by a fiber. Love your members so much and members love eachother so much, that we are walking in the concern for other people in and out of the church…knowing exactly how to serve them. 

Keep in mind that we all have to answer to Jesus Christ on judgement day…one by one.

(Matthew 5:16) “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your father which is in Heaven.”

12 thoughts on “The love of Church members waxing cold; leaders falling asleep…

      • predestined32 says:

        I left that particular church because they were more concerned it seemed, with the church membership growing, than “in-reach ministry”, which is basically keeping a caring and watchful eye, on the members that have already been going to the church for a while. The whole point is to make sure the members are doing well spiritually and emotionally…physically. The attitude and spirit was extreme friendliness and welcoming, but very few got personal enough to know real issues. “As long as you are physically present that means all is well.” WRONG! I was weary about all of this for a while….and then life hit me, and I was not going to church. Very few reached out to me. Of course that ended. When I got strength enough to build my faith, I reached out to the church, to encourage to uplift….and I would hear this comment; ” I was gonna call you….” When I finally went back I was flocked with members saying; “I missed you! I haven’t seen you in a while.” I forgot to mention, most of these members were on Facebook, including leadership. Contacting me was never hard. I had a falling out with a womens group there…..that’s for another day. It took an emotional toll on me which really lead to all of the above. One member came up to me and said; ” Now that you’re back, we can get together and do something.” No one cared that I left and was seriously struggling. As I was still figuring out if I wanted to give this church a chance, my Mom underwent back surgery. It caused her to be down for a while. She is still healing. I reached out to the members of the church. I told one that my Mom would love to have visitors in her home from the church, praying with her, fellowshipping with her. She was feeling down and lonely. She was not going to ask for the help so I did for her. I told the Pastor, I told several other members. One woman even got my moms number claiming that her and some other women basically helped those whom were ill, etc. Only one person reached out to my Mother…mainly via snapchat, facebook, texting, but Biblically, we are supposed to GO to people. No one else reached out to her. A couple of the members have family that live on the same street as my mom, they’ve been there, even after knowing my mother was in need of her church. They’ve waived to her and went about their business….the woman who said they took care of the sick and shut in, it was her family that lives on the same street…a few houses down. With a healing back, my mom has been caring for her Father whom nearly lost his leg, went through rehab. She has been his primary caregiver. She’s been under a lot of stress and expected for her church to pull through, and they didn’t. I was very proactive in letting people know her needs so the excuse could not be made, that no one knew. After that, I just could not go back to that particular church. I made a statement to one of the members saying; “No one cares enough. If it’s not popular in your church, then it’s not important. I need to be a part of a church where the members are cared for, because a lot of them are barely hanging on.” We were not the only ones.

      • SDC says:

        Sounds a lot like my issues with some of my ‘friends’ recently. People crawl out of the woodwork when you’re smiling that couldn’t look you in the face when you weren’t. Feigning even *failed* support.

        Two years ago I tried going to a new Lutheran church, outside my zone but it had a great sunday school. Extremely family oriented. Seemingly great community…but it started bordering on Superchurch ideals and presentation and I couldn’t. It was 27 times the size it needed to be with unnecessary ‘show. Which is fine in itself I guess. But…they advertised during service and all I could hear was a cash register pounding and dollar signs flying around. Im not sure I took one message away instead. Some of the fathers would speak to me now and again (I was ‘new’ after all), but everyone seemed to mind their clique and shun the rest. I felt welcome but…hard to explain. We missed a lot for things that were going on and then my wife stopped going at all cause of the trouble she was having….crickets. we weren’t thought of or acknowledged as a family in crisis. Only the families with the higher standing, longer history and popularity in the community. I’ve said it before that you can absolutely judge a church on its congregation and thats what I did at Luke’s. I prefer not to feel like an anonymous face in a crowd of HUNDREDS when I walk into my church.

        How is your mom doing now? πŸ˜”

      • predestined32 says:

        I’m so sorry that you had to experience all that you did. Disengagement with members and cliques are both problems in any church that would allow such behavior. Either people discern it fast, or for the sake of saying; “I belong to a church”, will ignore it. I can’t. Souls and families are on the line and I don’t believe Jesus would ignore it either. He loved us so much, to let this mess happen. The sad thing is, so few, including leaders and members in many churches, take the time to learn the character of Christ because it will cause them to come out of their comfort (cliques, popularity, etc.) ….having a “form” of godliness, but denying the power thereof. From such turn away. (2 Timothy 3:5) God also goes on to say, if we want to follow Him, then we’re supposed to “deny ourselves”. (Matthew 16: 24-26) I know what you mean by that welcoming feeling, but at the same time there is still this feeling of exclusion. Like, “Your welcome…buuuuut, we don’t know you enough to hang with you and the ones we make plans with, we’re comfortable with and use to them.” Members would have known that you were a family in crisis, had they spent time to sincerely be like Christ. We can move mountains, know the mysteries of Heaven….but if we lack love, then we are nothing ( 1 Corinthians 13:2). And mega churches are a red flag….I’ll write about that soon. ” We can judge a church by its congregation” I agree with you. There is too much of a disconnect WITHIN the 4 walls, and when mentioned too many people get offended….which is WHY I will keep mentioning it. Satan is a deceiver, and when we leave doorways cracked open for him to come in and wreck house…he will, even in the form of spiritual laziness. I use my experience to encourage and warn other church members, because this is serious and God will judge. Just because people go to church every Sunday does not mean they’re making it to Heaven. My Mom is doing good. She had back surgery because there was a disc pressing against a nerve causing her extreme dizziness, headaches, pain, couldn’t drive to far,etc. Now she’s in therapy regaining strength in her legs. Over all, she’s doing good. Thank You Jesus! Thank you for asking!😊
        How have you been feeling since being physically, mentally, emotionally?

      • SDC says:

        We’ve been outsiders a couple times trying to find the right place. So its become easy to determine the good from the indifference. And I well prefer a small, longstanding congregation than a group status seeking within the church….that sounds absolutely horrible. But it happens.

        Good. Im glad she is doing the work and is determined. Thats so much to bear. I think my mom wasnt given every opportunity after her stroke but the ones she did get, i think she was resigned to not taking. Which wasnt like her. Unfortunately i could only get so far in her thoughts with her speech loss. I think she was just tired. And in cases as hers you reach a literal point of no return where you cant improve. The determination wasnt there.

        Im okay. I feel extremely sore still but Im not hurting physically. And I know I need to be careful for a while, and definitely make BETTER choices in relationships since that’s what sends me spiraling. Hopefully next time (good God) I’ll handle it better being in better health and waking up to a hell of a lot. A hell of a lot. I’m full of resentment because I was such a mess I lost my kids for a while, lots of friends and my animals…and it was flipped off as a “personal issue” so that said an awful lot about how much I mattered. But those extremely negative feelings have helped me get back to doing exactly what Im supposed to be doing. Huge wake up call AGAIN. I have SOOO much else to say but I’ll leave it at that for now!!

      • predestined32 says:

        I stay far away from large churches, simply because where there are a mega amount of people, the infallible word of God is going to be compromised in order to keep that amount of people. Reason being, is because the word of God is confrontational…it convicts our hearts and calls out our sins, in order that we may choose repentance and salvation. (Hebrews 4:12) “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Not saying small churches do not grow….I believe in church growth, but starting from the inside out. I have only belonged to one congregation since being in my home town. I’m diligently and prayerfully seeking a new one. I pray for the old church I attended, because they are still my brothers and sisters in Christ. The thing is though, I know how I believe. I will always be vocal and active with in reach ministry….making sure the “Body of Christ” stays strong, with the help of many other faithful disciples.

        I’ve wanted to ask you how your Mom passed, but it seemed insensitive of me, especially being that it has all been so fresh. I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. I’m sure you did all that you could humanly do. I know words aren’t enough. I’ll certainly be praying for you…that God heals your heart.

        I’m glad you are on the road to recovery. You have to take care of YOU. What matters is that we learn from our choices. No one needs repeats. Next time, it WILL be better for you because you’re becoming a better man, Dad and person in general, through all of this…and Inevitably, I believe your choices will be wiser. At least your honest about your resentment. I still have moments of extreme disappointment in my childs father, to the point of disgust, that I am learning not to suppress. I thought I would get married and grow old with that man….but how many people go into marriage expecting for it to end? Not many. It’s always “Personal” when it has no benefit for others. On the other hand…you get to see who really cares during traumatic times in life. Yes! You are using a negative for a positive!!πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ You have “SOOO much else to say….” Speak your mind!!! πŸ˜€πŸ˜Š

  1. predestined32 says:

    This had also happened in the past, attending a different church, when my son was extremely ill. He was 4 at the time, and his dad and I were preparing for our Son’s brain surgery. Very distraught times. The Pastor and his wife did what they could ….they could not be there every day and we did not expect them to be…but not a single member, so much as called the Children’s Hospital to see if we were okay. We thought we had friends and a faithful community….the Body of Christ is supposes to care about one another. I am so vocal about this topic, not because I feel sorry foe myself, but when a member is not present at the church, something spiritually and/or physically crucial is going on
    Christians should care so much, that we get to the bottom of it. When I was with my sons father during my childs sickness, not having the church present, after ALWAYS hearing how we needed to make sure it was a part of our lives…was completely devastating. We were dealing with possibly losing our baby and family doing what they could to be there, but the church was just absent. By the grace of God, I still believe what the scriptures say in (Hebrews 25) ” Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together…” church is important. Our spirits need it. Our growth in Christ needs it…and not every church is like this. I know there are churches diligently focused on the work of the Lord, in every area. To give up on my Faith and church again, would be foolish on my part. I know though, that there are members who addicted to drugs and are afraid to tell people, alcohol, struggling hard in their faith, losing hope, contemplating suicide….some have already done it. We are living in the end times as prophesied in scripture. These are such crucial times for the believer. Sadly, many in the church are lukewarm and are falling away…also prophesied in scripture. But knowing this, Christians should be even more compelled to be there for one another.

    • SDC says:

      That all goes to what you said about taking on the form. I think a lot of folks questioning their faith or struggling at all will turn away if met with that. It always hurts me to see people trying to ‘belong’ so hard to a church and impression being an issue…like they have to work at being accepted. I just feel like it should be the one place where *THAT* isn’t an issue. No matter where a church stands community is the key. I know its difficult for everybody to do for everybody but…it’s still a mindset that is either there or it just isn’t. It’s genuine, or it isn’t. And that’s exactly right…it seems as if the ones not showing up are just backsliding when in fact there are deeper issues. I feel at Lukes when we weren’t there they took it as a snub and noncommital rather than what it actually was.

      • predestined32 says:

        You are really nailing it. ” A snub”….”Non-committal”. That’s exactly it! People have no idea. Yet, they should. I remember someone saying to me, in sort of a joking manner, that there is a group of ladies in the church with a fancy name because they all own expensive brand bags, nice clothing…..and I thought; “how ignorant.” For one, I felt sorry for the person telling me that, and then red flags started going up 🚩 one by one. It’s not that the people were mean, they just already had their set friendships and it was not inclusive towards certain members. Things concerning the church as a whole…you were included in, i.e. women’s groups, men’s groups, but even then people had their exclusive friendships….it just didn’t seem Godly. You could tell whom was not popular. If me and any others, could distinguish these things, then it’s there and it’s wrong. It took me back to high school…..middle school even. One of the ladies was explaining to me how her and those “not as popular” were all sat at the same table at a wedding reception for one of the members….while those whom were friends outside of church sat at the same table. I hate when people say so much about a church they’d been going to for years, but won’t ever say something about what is bothering them, to the ones they have these issues with. By now, if you can’t talk to these people in honesty, then…something is off. Every member can’t do everything….but that is the point of diverse ministries and “organization”. There should be outreach teams, bereavement ministry, marriage counseling, in-reach teams, food pantry ministry, housekeeping, etc. I don’t give ANY church in Christ, an excuse to slack so much in the faith. We are supposed to be representing Jesus Christ. It most certainly does, HAVE to be a mindset. Too many people have issues outside. Church is their only refuge from it all.

      • SDC says:

        Thats what Im thinking through this whole thread, that the one place…the *one* safety from precisely that BS, and when it’s not there…how easy would it be for someone not as determined, to turn away. Someone in that time of need is not likely to keep trying and that’s just an awful thought. I knew enough to keep trying because I knew what I needed and what my kids needed….someone worse off or with less of a foundation may just give up if they arent welcomed as they should be. Its an awful thought.

        I laughed for five minutes at “feeling sorry for the person who told me that”..

        Yes, and I don’t think anyone needs to revisit middle school. I sure as hell dont. Its bad enough with “adult” friends that pull that stuff. Doesn’t belong in church.

        Just as an example, there was a small Lutheran Church that we started going to after me and my ex separated. They had a great Sunday school, they were small, it was a fairly established and efficient congregation. They accepted my daughter and to the Sunday School with open arms even though she wasn’t able to make it every week, halfway through one of the years we had to stop going and we kind of had learned to feel shame about that at other places and were embarrassed to return, I shouldn’t say we it was just me. And when we walked back into start up a little late and they remembered her name and welcomed her right back in. There was never any shunning or crazy stuff. And the first time we had visited I left our name and address. a few days later the pastor and his wife brought their baby over and knocked on our door and welcomed us , thanked us and brought my daughter a little bag with Christmas stuff from the church. Like a puzzle and other treats. There was no sort of recruitment, which is a bad word but you know how it goes. And they said it would be nice to have us come back and thanked us…again. i was floored. You won’t catch ‘Them Catholics doing that! Lol. Great people but they don’t have time for that! ANYWAY! It was a welcome change after fizzling out at the ginormous faceless St. Lukes.

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