I am not ready for a romantic relationahip with anyone at this point of my life right now. I am becoming the best version of myself before I can add to, and build with, anyone else. However I am not a serial dater. I don’t mingle. I don’t invest a significant amount of personal emotions into anyone who is not extremely dear to my heart…..relationship wise, because I know where I currently stand.
I love sharing life in general with people in general, but not many personally know my son (not including long distance family/friends). I protect him the best way that I know how. This includes his heart.
There is a point in a relationship where eventually these meetings happen, but I feel like a lot of people are so hasty to jump into the serious parts without really thinking what it all intales.
For one, I may love you, but it does not mean you are built for a relationship let alone marriage…at least with me. Playing house is a waste of good time. You do not need to meet my child.
Know one another past the honeymoon stage. You can know ones flaws and think you know the worst of them, but if you have never seen one in action in their flaws, you really do not know them yet. See a person in their real, let them see you and if you can still connect after that, you may be working with something. Perhaps the “conversation” about meeting the child(ren) could come up.
What have you both gone through together? This question seems cliche but it is one of the greatest tests of relationships. Do you guys still like one another through the ugliness of life…when neither one of you have families that are all American…when he can talk about that uncle on crack and you not run away? When he knows that you and your siblings are all half, yet he could care less?
If you have a child or children…is your significant other ready to parent? If they have a child or more, are you ready to parent theirs and deal with the other parents? Isn’t this the reason for the original question? “When should he/she meet the kid(s)?
I have no direct answer for that question because I don’t know if there is a single answer. Some things are circumstantial. All relationships have to be built on a solid foundation. My foundation is Christ.
Real relationships are a blend of many things, but every relationship should have respect, love, care, compromise, understanding and an identical view on where you both stand with meeting the children. If she is quick to want to meet your children…why? If she had a child with you and it did not work out, this could mean she will be swift to put your baby around another man. That could turn into a cycle and harmful emotional exposure to the children involved.
If he wants to meet your children too soon, and you let this happen, if it did not work out, how will your kid(s) handle this if they grew attached?
What we do as adults should be left with adults. We should not include kids in on our hormonal bliss.
We cannot allow for our emotions to run our common sense and logic so much, that we run head first into a commitment that we are not ready to take our kids into.
I will not let a man that I am in a relationship with, be around my son unless I knew we were both ready to be in this until the end. No second guessing. No cold feet. The reality is this….how my child sees ME is how he will view other WOMEN. The way I allow a man to treat me in front of him, will be engraved in his mind. If he can’t trust that I’ll protect his heart he will learn to disrespect women. Because he would think that women don’t respect themselves, and that it’s the “norm” to date around in order to find the right one.
When should he/she meet the kids?
Use carefulness and discernment. Little eyes watch and repeat.