It’s a sad day, when a Christian woman discovers that a Christian man is………..HUMAN. I’m sorry. I do not want to offend other humans whom strive to love carefully, cautiously and with great consideration. Until us Christian women learn and know better, we are oblivious to the fact that some of these men hopping up and down in the church, “On fire for God”, are not as Christ centered as they claim to be, except before the eyes of an audience.
I once “courted” this guy, in my younger years…who was prepping to become a minister. He flew all of the way from the West Coast to Ohio to visit me and ask my mother for permission to court me, so on and so fourth. He noticed that no one in my family wore skirts, but me. I never thought I had to mention that. I could tell right away that made him uncomfortable. He began to question me about it. “No one in your family wears skirt?” “Do you wear pants?” The outward appearance of holiness mattered more to him than the inside. If my whole family was not on board with me, then that must have meant that I was too flawed and sinful for him. Long story cut short…He flew back home and things were okay for a day. Shortly after, he called me on the phone with a bogus excuse…”I spoke with my Bishop and he told me that I can be friends with you but I could never marry you.” He dumped me over the phone. My heart was so broken that it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. A couple of days before my 19th birthday.
When I was in High School, I talked to this so-called young minister. (What was with me and Ministers? I grew out of that phase VERY FAST!) Because I was/am a leader I was drawn to leadership. Apparently and unfortunately, I was drawn to the narcissistic kind. I had no clue what narcissism was back then. I never even heard of the word. This young man was a fraud. Many knew it, and did not care, as long as he was one of those screaming, sweating, eloquent speaking type ministers….he MUST have been anointed. <<<SARCASM. He wanted sex. I did not give it to him so I was dumped.
Number one, too few young girls/women in the church, are being told the truth. YES! There are plenty of creeps in the House of God. BEWARE! BE CAREFUL! In fact, some men will go to the church on purpose, to find a good girl/woman, but will have no good intentions. In the end, the woman falls and she suffers. I have been there too. Number two, young men in the church are not being taught how to protect the testimony of women, by protecting their own testimonies. We are taught to not be “Unequally yoked”, but what does this mean? We may congregate together, but it does not mean you are a good match. God told you that I was not the one, but God did not tell you this before you got so deep in it? Men must stop using God to back up their ignorance. He has nothing to do with that.
Christian women are then left wondering…”What’s wrong with me?” “Was I not Godly enough?” This should not be a question that we ever ask. Our Godliness is not to please a man, it is to please the Lord and Bless our living. When the foolishness of some men, leaves open questions like this, it’s time to call the church to a “town meeting.” We must address the inappropriate and unhealthy dating habits within the church, and the responsibility that Christian men have, to protect women of faith, within their congregations and beyond.
Ephesians 6:11 “ Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.“