Confession of a Writer….Two faced

☀During the day I portray a woman of great intelligence, high self esteem and sophistication, soft hearted, yet with an unbreakable outer shell.

🌑During the evening, when I am finished answering to people, I wrap up in my favorite blanky, curl up into a ball…..even rock back and fourth, and just cry. Oh yes, LIFE will get you there. I WILL be alright!

4 thoughts on “Confession of a Writer….Two faced

  1. Nato says:

    I think many of do this, and just don’t admit it. I tend to stay pretty busy and I used to have people tell me that I was so much fun and full of life. But they didn’t realize that when I got done with all my fun events, I would go home, sit alone and cry. I needed the activity and day to make me feel alive and part of the world.

    • predestined30 says:

      I am trying hard to keep occupied. Keeping busy and prayer is helping me to face reality, when I’m alone with my thoughts. I try to go to sleep, to NOT think, and then find myself being awaken by thoughts. I am sure this will pass, but it is like, every time you made it through one phase of pain, like a roller coaster…here comes another gut wrenching drop that you have to brace yourself for.Thank you for your thoughts. They are needed.❤

      • Nato says:

        I hear you. It is a rough ride and one that you think will never end. And everyone has all this great advice: hang in there, time will heal, the right one is out there….blah blah blah. I cringed every time someone said all those things to me. But, the most important thing I learned (and got from someone’s advice) was to relearn to love me for all that I am. I got up and tried to make each day fun. Whether that fun was simply walking around to feel glorious sun on my face or trying something new like paddle board yoga, I started to find a joy in life and experiences. I found that I was OK with me. Of course, there are things I want to improve. Sure, we all have goals, but overall, I realized, I am a good person and my past relationship failures were not all my fault. Yes, I played my part and had to own my share of things not working. But they did not work because I was a bad person or unlovable. No. They just didn’t work out because they were not right for me and not what God wanted for me anymore. Of course, this is all easy to say and harder to live. Coming from someone who was lost and sad and crying at random times for “no reason,” please know, you can get through it. Time heals. God heals. And slowly, you will rediscover YOU and all that makes you happy. And when you have those moments where you cannot take anymore, just turn it over to God for the night.

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