So it seems that my goodbyes are being delayed for a few more days. I can’t help but to think that God is in the mix of all of this delay…..perhaps giving me extended time to rest before the journey, because Lord knows that I have lived off of a few hours a night. Perhaps, He is giving me more time to gather up last minute documents in order to restart my life again, without worry looming over my head………………..or other reasons that seem so out of reach, and out of touch and far fetched…..and, “yea right!” So I will stick with the previous.
Whatever the reasons, I am grateful. I get to stretch out and have a full nights rest for the next couple of nights, which I was not counting on.
Why is it that, humans are so accustomed to never really taking our full responsibility for our own personal actions? We refuse to take responsibility by not admitting that we are fully aware and conscious of our decisions. “It was an accident!” An accident is something that we more than often do not have control over. How can one say that they did not mean to? You had free will to do or to resist, unless your life was being threatened…..some may even argue that point. Could it be that “sin” was the ultimate factor? God tells us through His word, that we must put our flesh under submission, for a reason. Because when we do not, the lust of our flesh, whatever that lust is (it is not narrowed down to sex) it could be money, greed, envy, pride, etc. will surface and have its way, leaving us with consequences to pay. So here is my poem……..
I can’t get past the mistakes I made.
Should I call them mistakes…..
or did I already know when in town came the parade?
I will confess my madness, at that moment…gladness, current state…sadness.
I knew my betters, I knew my wrongs, but to be cared for….
it had been so long.
I hate being human in times of weakness,
because my window opened and out went my meekness.
I was carried away on the wings of doves,
like a blissful retreat, that went high above
what I knew as reality, please don’t be mad at me,
faults counted on an abacus,
I’m sorry! Please free me!
But you are not God.
You are just like me…
needing to be released,
needing to be made free.
(When we assure people that we have forgiven them, we are releasing them from the bondage of guilt.) ❤