Last night, I had this dream that I was on an airplane going somewhere. My traveling companion was my 6 year old “globe trotting”, little boy. Who better than him, right? I do not know where we were headed, but, we were both so excited! He had a huge smile on his face and was being his crazy self, waiting to get to his destination. He looked out of the airplane window in amazement at the puffy white clouds being so close to him. After that, I woke up. I then grabbed a new perspective and outlook on something that looked so daunting and FINAL.
I once prided myself on “family”, being married, having multiple children…….and boy, was I humbled quickly. I now stand in the midst of the end of something that I once anticipated. Today, I feel indifferent. Tomorrow I may feel something else.
I have always had this mandate to travel…..not just a dream and always with great purpose. I waited years for my son to be more of an independent traveler; i.e
1.) No breast feeding breaks
2.) No diaper changes
3.) No bouts of screaming when upset
4.) No ridiculous amounts of extra baggage (NO PUN INTENDED) strollers, car seats, diaper bags, carriers, etc.
My son’s first airplane flight was at 8 months old. He was not a fussy baby. He was one of those babies that were bubbly and cooed….LOUDLY….he definitely has Cuban blood ❤ !(lol) Howbeit, when you are on a business trip and you had to “settle” for coach, you would rather hear a mute baby, than a baby who will not stop making noise…..some passengers. I am not one to mind. Kids will be kids and I enjoy it. High elevation mixed with rapid weather change….from cold to hot, made us both miserably sick. It was still a great experience though
I waited all of these years. I was willing to let that mandate go for more babies…gladly. I had no ill feeling towards birthing more children. It is what I wanted. Now, that I am entering a new dawn of life, I want nothing more than to pack up myself and my “Clyde”, and hop on an airplane, learn a new dialect, and a new way of living.
So I chatted with my ovaries and said:
“You know we’ve had a good run. You have literally been a pain, but every month you reminded me of my youthfulness. However, I have to hang you up. We will always share our dreadful moments, every time you drop in without notice, but those baby doors are closing.” It’s been real.” 🙂
“Okay, I understand. I mean, I did give you a few scares, I did embarrass you….remember that time your mom and sister had to help you….EM-BA-RR-AS-SI-NG!! Soooooo…….can we still be friends? I mean, I know you will hate me for 7 days every month and those occasional extra days I like to stay over….I just LOVE your company! What can I say? But I am loyal. 😀 If you change your mind….I have another good 15 years before my retirement. ❤
An ending to one thing, is the beginning for something else completely special. Life, in every aspect is made to start and to end. Nothing will last forever, but eternity and our souls.