Have you ever noticed how mothers have it made up in their minds that they know how to raise everyone’s children on their advice? I am guilty of that one. Thankfully my self-proclamation of a “Mommy guru” was short lived. I destroyed that know it all , before she became increasingly annoying to every new mom and future mom.
When I first had my son, yes, I needed advice, and I still do 4 1/2 years later, just not from everyone. When you first go into motherhood, you are excited about walking into this new territory and many are excited for you. At first, advice is accepted with open arms…..and then something happens. Some folks just do not know when to bring it on down, and stop talking.
So many women who have children assume that because they have a child or more than 1, they have the answers that you need to survive Mommyhood101. Well, this calls for a long sigh, some eye rolling, a head shake and a monologue. Assumptions are as toxic as the advice that comes afterwards, at times. If you go up to a new mother thinking that she needs “your” opinion on child rearing….not to mention hormones are raging, either you will be talking to a stone wall, you will be excused ever so politely, or you may catch a momma on a bad day.
Having a football team of children does not mean that you are an expert. Being a mother, period, does not mean that you are an expert. You are an expert at your own, but not someone else’s seed. The greatest advice that I can give to other mom’s is, if your advice is not asked for (because if it is wanted, it will be asked for) do not give it. Just be supportive, considerate, kind, and loving. Becoming a new mother has a lot of detailing, and all of the extra unsought after opinions, make welcoming a brand new life, that much more scarier and confusing. Sometimes, mommas have to learn as they go, on their own, and with much solid Christian grounding.
Here are some tips to all of you Mom’s who always itch to give your well-intentioned advice……because y’all know you can’t keep those mouths closed all of the time. 🙂
1.) If your personality already clashes with the “expecting”…..do not even try.
2.) Learn when information overload is present…..we are women, we should be able to pick up on the signal that….reads: “I’m annoyed please be quiet!” If you can not, look up the word: “Logic”.
3.) Not every medicine that worked for your child/children will work for everyone else’s. Not every diaper brand that you suggest is the best…..it may give someone else’s child a severe diaper rash. Similac does not sit right in every baby’s tummy….the same for Enfamil and any other formula. ETC.
4.) Expecting mommy’s who are close to their own mothers, tend to lean more towards Momma’s advice more than anyone else’s…respectfully. With that being said, do not get offended if your advice is not always embraced…..you will have your moment so do not feel bad. ❤ 🙂
5.) Of course I am going to give ADVICE!!! lololololol And here it tizzz…..
SAVE! SAVE! SAVE! Because you do not know if your baby will be thoroughly satisfied with breast milk alone, or which formula might make them gassy, if they will have colic, if their bums break out in welts when you use huggies or pampers, if they will fit newborn clothing or you will have to put them in preemie for the first week or 2………SAVE YOUR MONEY, SO YOU WILL BE PREPARED to get what you need. Also, be nice. 😉 Yes, it is hard dealing with everyone’s advice, but you do not have to accept and use it all. If it really bugs you, be honest about it. Honesty is the best policy. Some times you have to be otherwise unnecessary grudges will be built, when all you had to do was be upfront. No one can make you enjoy your pregnancy and no one nor any circumstance should be able to take that precious joy and time in your life, away from you. God is the giver of life. Enjoy His blessings in His grace.
6.) Most importantly…..advice is necessary. Being in the counsel of Godly people is essential for our walks in Christ, pregnant or not pregnant. The Bible makes mention of this all through out. Advice from everyone? No. Be discerning and you have the right to be picky. 😉
Proverbs 20:15 “There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.”